Short, Sharp  - and often Irreverant
... by some B&B masters of the art

indicates new additions



Allison
Angie
Becca
Cindy
Judith
Roz

Catherine, on her balcony, sipping white wine Dreaming of Vincent, she started to pine When, oh when, will he ever show With certain thoughts her blush would grow Her evil grin says, "He'll finally be mine."

Low and behold, Vincent's bare chest It looks by far to be the best Catherine's seen Elliott's,Catherine's seen Tom's Vincent's by far surely must be the bomb She prays to the lord, let this not be a test

Angie

Their anniversary calls For something refreshing and tall So they sipped as they sat Discussed this and that Until neither saw reason to stall	The rose and the crystal became Their symbols of love and its claim For Above and Below Came together to show Two hearts burned as one ardent flame
Vincent and Catherine wore green In thanks for the magic of dreams When popcorn they made Of an emerald shade Their reward was loud kiddie screams...	Catherine and Vincent we know Are champions above and below When the dark and the light Decide on a fight ... ...You'll just have to rewatch the show
Our Vincent's sartorial flair Enthralls from his toes to his hair Those tight pants and vests And tunics are best We want to see more  - but despair	Mouse and Vincent 'hang out' Just where is somewhat in doubt For those draughty dark caves Could lead to a grave So one or the other must scout
To Father, the tunnelworld scold Above has naught to behold But Catherine has proven There's much worth the losin' And Vincent finds tales to be told	Tunnel meetings may drag on, or flare Mary listens and knits in her chair While Father expounds She purls a new round There's never a lack of knitwear!
Our Vincent's hair's a delight Even when mussed in a fight It's golden and flows In candlelight glows Envy Catherine who strokes it at night!	Pascal in his pipe chamber knows Where every message should go But when chit-chat is rife Or the tunnels in strife Does he wish he could call an 'all slow'?
Elliot Burch has the glam To buy whatever he can But our heroine's price Is simple and nice ... It's love for her big hairy man	Jamie the huntress can aim For maximum placement and pain And her friends now accept That she just as adept At keeping Mouse safe from his brain
To Diana our Vincent was clearly A mystery she found ever nearly When she saw him at last Hesitation was past He became her secret ... and dearly	Paracelsus had a great fall From grace when he wanted it all So he lived deep below Where his hatred could grow While sure he would get his recall
Gabriel never reserved His madness to flunkies who served He let Catherine die He made Vincent cry His end was what he deserved	Vincent mourned two 'starmen' Above Who devoted their lives to their love For Bowie and Hawking Shared birthdays*, straight talking And left us twice richer thereof

Becca

Catherine was seen gazing raptly At Vincent, who was tapping quite badly. Her grin getting big, "That's some sort of jig, But let's face it, you're no Michael Flatley."

Cindy

I’ve a quarter, a nickel, and a dime Found in the gutter, this time. Is some forty odd cents Enough recompense To bring me a woman, sublime?	Catherine was a woman of renown, Her name, on a building in town. But the thing he liked best Was the way she was dressed, When she wore a near see-through night gown
Our Jacob was in quite a bother. “Dear Mary, for me there’s no other. But my libido goes south When you open your mouth And rather than ‘Jacob’ say ‘Father!’”

Judith

There was once was a man named Ron Who’d rather have tons of make-up on! He knew his own face was scary And he was tall, big and hairy But now, all that cover-up is gone!
There once was a man called Vincent Whose father insisted he see sense! But he would not listen He went Above on a mission A wondrous love to commence!	There once was a pretty lady of class Who was left to die on the grass. Only the faintest of sparks Kept her away from the dark Strong arms reached in, lifted, held fast.
A young woman found what she’d dreamed A love far more than it seemed. Her father'd been wrong That she should marry Tom A fate that now made her scream!	There once was a man cloaked in night Fell in love with a woman of light. They all said, “No, you shan’t…” He would not hear their chant Not after she’d seen him with clear sight
A couple once talked the night away When she would have gone back, he said, “Stay…” She looked into his eyes The shade of dawning skies “You only had to ask. Of course ... okay…	There once was a young boy from Below Who decided that Up Top he must go. He knew his face was scary And he was big and hairy But the carousel was the greatest of shows.
He moved down the alley like a bird in flight One eye on the stars, the other on the night. Above him she stood He knew that she would Wait forever for her beloved, beast knight.	She loved watching him in those low-riding jeans He had the best hip action she’d seen. But she preferred him without Letting it all hang about For her eyes only, if you know what I mean?
A woman who once heard a sound Picked up her gun, and looked all around. But outside on the tiles Her frowns turned to smiles She looked up, saw him, was spell-bound.	A man thought to send his love To go and live with Elliot, Above. For his world they must part But nearly broke his great heart But she returned like a true homing dove.
There once was a man with a great butt So tight he could even crack nuts. Females swoon at the sight Their men said, get a life! As, across the screen, he would strut.	“Yes!” he shouted, as they rose to new heights His head went back and nearly took out the light! “Hey, be careful!” she said. Lying beneath him in the bed “I want to see you, and share every delight.”

Roz

If a criminal life you've in mind, And you wish to be real hard to find. If you want to be sure Just make certain that your Floor tile's not one of a kind.	Vincent's seamstress Below does it well. Do you want to know how I can tell? Although bullets and darts Always entered his parts, By the next week, his vest still looked swell!
There's this ring that Gabriel wore. Snow had one, too, and what's more, They were both very old Of black opal and gold. Now what in the heck were they for?	Paracelsus was such a great villian And Gabriel, too, he was chillin'! We would have seen more Of these bad guys, I'm sure. If the network had only been willin'.
Diana, she shot Gabriel dead, With Catherine's own gun, it is said. She ended his game, But why didn't she aim, And shoot Jeff Sagansky instead? (network president CBS 1989)	That the baby is cute sure is true. How he got here though I've still no clue. Though it still seems so crazy, It sure is amazing What flowers and lava can do.
Sadly, our Catherine is dead, The new Beauty had locks of red. So the story goes on With Jo and with Ron, I wonder where it would have led?

To main site Library
To site Features index